Lazy Choc Cheese Marble Cake

I was cracking my head contemplating what to make for our last linedance potluck party. I know my weaknesses- laziness, clumsiness and sympathetic.

Laziness- can't blame me, i was completely worn-out due to the past weeks' workload. So I have decided to get more rest over the weekends. And most importantly, reserve some fuel to line dance in the evening. So any cooking that involves a tedious mechanism is definitely a no no..

Clumsiness-Cooking to me is worse than office work. With my clumsiness, i tend to have injuries whenever I cook up a decent meal. In order to prevent these minor accidents, I will take double the time compare to any normal person.

Sympathetic- I hardly cook, only once or twice in the year. The standard of my dishes always varies according to my mood and accuracy of measurement. Being sympathetic enough, I had chosen not to cook any of my "signature dishes" as I have no confidence in ensuring that it is edible. Worse still, to make everyone guinea pigs of my first attempt.


The degree of my reluctant to cook = 70% Laziness + 10% Clumsiness + 20% Sympathetic

From the above, it is clear that LAZINESS is the major culprit. So I have resorted to a quick fix - something that is simple and i have confidence on- Bake a cake!

But then again, I was in a dilemma, eventhough baking is not a difficult job for me, but then some cakes also involves a lot of work....So with much considerations, I took the shortcut again! That is to get a premix.

I have fixed my mind a day before the party and off i went early the following morning to LMC baking ingredients shop. The shop attendant have managed to convince me their best seller- moist American chocolate cake. Without second thought, I took a packet and paid immediately.

After reaching home. I was hit by my guilty conscious...coz i hate premix, it is always overbearingly sweet. So I decided to improve it with my own variation. Viola, with one pack of premix, I managed to bake 2 cakes in less than 2 hours ( My recipe below is for one cake)

Due to the variation, I have difficulty naming the cake. It looks like chocolate cheese brownie but it is softer than brownie. It tastes like moist American chocolate fudge cake but it has cream cheese filings in it. Well, finally, I decided to name it: Lazy Choc Cheese Marble Cake, since the invention was attributed to my laziness...Trust me, this is the type of recipe which you can choose to dump in all ingredients and blend together in a electric mixer. No manual mixing required.

Below is the recipe:

A. Cake Ingredients

250g butter (1 bar)
3 size-A eggs
1 packet 500g moist chocolate cake mix - for this recipe, only 250g is required.
50g self-raising flour (if dun have, just use plain flour and mix with 1 tsp of baking powder)
2 table spoon chocolate powder (optional, just to add more chocolaty flavour)
50g water
1 bar imported dark chocolate (Optional - you decide how much is needed)

B. Cream Cheese Filing Ingredients:
250g cream cheese
80 g icing sugar
1 size A egg
2 big table spoon strawberry yogurt

C. Steps

1. Cream butter till light and creamy.
2. Blend in egg one at a time.
3. Blend in flour, cake mix and water
4. Beat till well blended.
5. Chop the dark chocolate into small pieces, and blend into the mixture.
6. Divide the mixture into 2 portion.
7. Pour one portion into the lined cake tin and bake in bain marie/steam bath (a tray of water to be placed below the cake dish) for 10 min in a 180 degree preheated oven.
   
8. While waiting, prepare the cream cheese filing. In a separate mixing bowl, blend cream cheese, icing sugar, egg and strawberry yogurt together. Remember to thaw the cream cheese beforehand to soften it as this will cut short the mixing time. With the help of the electric mixer, you should be able finish it within 10 min. Anyway, even you are as slow as a snail, the first layer in the oven will be patient enough to wait for you. Standing time will not ruin the consistency.
   
9. Remove the first layer out and pour over it the cream cheese filling. Use a fork, prick the cake a little bit to allow the cream cheese filling penetrating to the first layer.
   
10. Next, pour in the 2nd portion of the chocolate cake mix.
    
11. Stir the cream cheese filing and chocolate mixture together to get the swirl marble effect.
12. Continue baking for another 25-30 min.
13. To test whether the cake is done, prick using a tooth pick and if it comes out clean, the cake is done. Normally a well baked cake will shrink a bit to the edge.

Trust me you will never fail with this recipe and anyone who is a chocolate or cheese lover will fall in love with it. Most importantly, this cake is just so easy to make. I can't but to say that this cake recipe is for the idiot who intend to bake like pro..hahahah...

Estimated total cost:

1. Chocolate cake mix - one pack is RM6.80 (RM3.40 for half pack)
2. Butter - RM5.40
3. Flour - RM?? One pack is RM3 for 1kg, 50g is RM0.15
4. Eggs- RM1.60 (Estimate)
5. Cheese - RM6.50 (Estimate)
   
6. Chocolate bar - RM6.50 (Estimate)
   
7. Yogurt - RM1.50 (Estimate)
   
8. Icing sugar - RM0.25 (Estimate)

The estimated cost is around RM25 to bake this cake. So it is 75% cheaper than buying it from the shop.

Some variations:

1. You may try baking the chocolate cake without the cream cheese filling but replace with cream cheese topping. Just cream the cheese and icing sugar but omit the egg. The icing sugar can be lesser by 10g, up to your taste. Add some lemon peels and 1 tsp lemon juice to flavour the topping. Spread the topping all over the cake which is already cooled down.
   
2. Skip the cream cheese if you are conscious about the calories. Just bake the cake on its own which will turn into a moist chocolate fudge cake. Make sure you choose good quality chocolate, preferably imported ones. You may also try using Hershey Chocolate nuggets but i prefer to use pure dark chocolate.
   
3. Try mixing some chopped walnuts to make the cake more chewy.
4. If budget is not an issue as you only go for premier quality, replace the 50g plain flour with 50g hazelnut powder. The end result is a classic royal chocolate cake.
5. An alchohol lover? Just soak some raisins overnight with rum and mix with the chocolate cake. You will be drunk with the sweetness.
6. Replace the yogurt with 1 tsp lemon juice and some shredded lemon peels for a more tangy taste. Lemon and any citrus fruit goes well with chocolate.
   

Happy baking!
The swirl is not so smooth due to the chunky chocolate pieces. Anyway, it is quite artistic right? (Ahem!)

Sufferings In A Living Hell

My papa was one of the most sorrowful souls in this world. For a Buddhist, we believe there are six planes of existence-hell, hungry ghost, human, animal, demi god(asura), and god. Pardon me for describing in this manner as my papa lives no difference from the beings of the lower realms even though he was presented in the human realm. He had endured relentless sufferings during his life time for more than 2 decades long. Literally put he has been imprisoned in a living hell.

My papa was first diagnosed with a thyroid disorder when I was in primary. Since it was an disorder due to deficiency of some minerals, he recuperated few years later after taken some supplements prescribed by the doctor. He was very careful with his diet since then. Alas, he was not spared either. He suffered with kidney failure when I was 15. Frankly, I don't know how this can happen as he has always been very careful about his food intake and he didn't indulge in any bad habit. Later he was forewarned by the specialist the limited no of years he has to live.

At the tender age, all his children cared little about how their parents' feelings. We didn't realise how bad his condition was. Life went on as usual for us. I remembered the only difference was that my papa saw doctor and consumed medicine more often than the normal person. My papa was a real hard core. Many years later my papa revealed to us that he denied to face the "death sentence" that was read to him by the specialist. Reasons being that his kids were young and he's the sole breadwinner of the family. The living force was arising from his determination to get 3 of his young kids to complete their higher education. It aches my heart to learn that my papa had striven hard to provide for us in spite of his bad health. Since then, he spent his life-time savings seeking for wonder cures and specialist treatments. Sad to say that God took no pity of his perseverance and determination.

He had several accounts of near-death experience but managed to pull through each time round. In 1994, there were already signs of blood intoxication and his doctor certified that both his kidney had completely failed. He was left with no choice and doctor proclaimed that the only way to sustain his life was to perform haemodialysis treatments. Later, we found out that the subsidized treatment provided by GH was only allocated for the privilege few and our application was turned down. My papa was aware that he required such long term care and that the treatment costs would burdened the family. At that time, each treatment cost in a region of RM150-RM200 and he needed 3 treatments per week. That would mean a fixed expenses of RM2400 per month. Not willing to burden the family, my papa has naively proposed to the doctor to put him to sleep. Obviously his wish was not granted by any doctor.

At last, my papa was left with the only and most economical treatment option to prolong his life, i.e. getting a peripheral dialysis, a.k.a. wash the blood through a tube inserted into stomach, of which fatality rate is relatively higher. Just before the first peripheral dialysis session was to be carried out, my dad suddenly behaved abnormally. As though he has awaken from a dream, he revealed to us his mysterious and paranormal encounter.

We listened in disbelief when he told us that he witnessed the existence of KwanYin, Jesus, Nabi Mohammad, and nameless saints and sages who came to welcome him. At that time, I wasn't yet quite believed in what he told. Scientifically explained, this could be due to the toxic in his blood that was causing his hallucination. For he has been a free thinker all these years, it sounded rather absurd for him to tell us about this sort of things.

Nevertheless, we noticed there was a major change in his personality before and after his unusual encounter. He became very talkative and was always in hilarious mood despite of his serious illness. He "preached" us some philosophy of life and spoke in languages which I couldn't quite understand too.

One day during my visit to him at the hospital, he told me subtly that he has a magic formula but he's promised "somebody' that it was not supposed to be revealed to anybody. However, it's the affinity between a father and daughter relationship that he can only revealed part of the "heavenly secret" to me. Eagerly, I witnessed him taking out his 555 notebook which he used to jot down some reminder notes and he turned to a page with some numbers and musical notes written on it. He hummed me the tune. But it was common nursery rhyme which he used to sing to me when I was young. Later I found out that the 'heavenly secret" that he had partially revealed was how to be kind and friendly to others, including strangers. He reminded me again and again how we should treat people kindly and not to be arrogant. He also explained to me the theory of unceasing energy, so on and so forth... Though those theories sounded quite logic scientifically but he has acted out of norm, all our family members thus concluded that he wasn't quite "alright".

The awakening wisdom in him was awe-inspiring. While I was puzzled with his weiredo, I was also quite impressed with his calmness when he shared his view towards death. He mentioned that if at all he has to leave this world, we shouldn't feel too sad about it as he's going to be resolved as part of the universe. However he will not be completely vanished from this world but instead will transform into another form such as a particles in the soil, absorbed by the plants, eg a vegetable. Then he is going to become part of the cells in the vegetables or fruits that once consumed by us, will become part of us . It sent goose bumps all over me when I heard of this but I have great tranquil when he mentioned that he would not be "vanished" from this world as the departed ones will eventually be merged into one of this world system. "Maybe your body consist part of our ancestors, since we consumed "it"!"My dad teased.

Untiringly he kept reminded us to be kind and friendly with everyone around us and expect us to greet every nurses that came. The 360 degree change in his character has driven my family members including my mom to think that he's gone coo-coo. Miraculously after this episode, we received good news that the GH had decided to offer him fully subsidised haemodialysis treatments. This is a rather rare opportunity since my papa was not a government servant to receive such privilege treatment. Moreover, we have been told earlier that the waiting list was long. We simply couldn't believe it that my dad was offered to receive free treatment. It is as though he has received pardon from a death sentence.

The high cost of dialysis treatment thus was no longer a worry. My papa regained happiness and firmly believed that the Heaven God was giving him a new life. Ever since this incidence, he has devoted to Kwan Yin Pu Sa for he believed that he was saved by this Compassionate Bodhisattva.

It wasn't long later that I realised that he being given a new life was not really good news either. For he has to endure the agony of puncturing his flesh with needles to insert the blood transfusion tube during each treatment. He required three treatments per week or 156 times a year. Having received treatments for more than 10 years and that would mean a total of 1560 times. This is like a lifelong punishment.

Worse still, a dialysis patient is only allowed to take no more than 500ml of liquid a day. As such, he was forced to bear with the many rounds of unquenched thirst. My dad had once poured to me of his anguish over carrying on his life with such a misery- as he was deprived for the very basic freedom to consume water, unlike the normal person. A glass of icy drink or a bowl of watery teochew porridge would literally "drown him" as he jokingly put it. Life has no enjoyment at all as when even drinking a cup of plain water became a luxury for a poor man like him.

Having endured the pain and deprivation for more than 10 years, he was not spare further. As if he still has one last debt to pay-off, he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year. According to the specialist, it is the type with the most malignancy. Before it turned into malignancy, doctor had mentioned to him that it was curable at the initial stage and suggested him to go for chemotherapy coupled with radiotherapy treatment but was rejected by him. Perhaps he knew that the treatment may double-up his agony(he has "consulted" Kwan Yin and was told not to opt for any of the suggested options). His decision could be right since it is imperative for the cancer patient to consume more water after each treatment and this was the immunity that my papa lacked. He resort to take the most bitter herbs in raw forms and literally put he consumed more bitter medicine than sumptuous food.

Despite that, the tumor grew bigger gradually and was causing an obstruction in his throat. This has affected his food intake and gave rise to breathing difficulty. His health has since deteriorating day by day and he's far beyond frail. However, my papa didn't give up hope to live. This time, all his kids have grown up and he should not have more worries. However, his living force at that time was not because of us but of his indebtedness towards my mom for him not able to fulfill his promise to take her around anymore. He felt that he has not spent many good times together with my mom and he has owed her a great deal.

Sensing that my papa will not thrive for too long, I took a week off to attend to him while he was at the hospital in July this year. The one-week experience with him was indeed unforgettable. He was always sleepy and had miserable appetite. I knew it very well that he was forcing himself to consume some food in order to thrive. He was conscious enough to know that if he didn't have enough food intake, he would get even weaker and would not be able to survive. He is a typical life example of "eat to live". I recalled feeding him his very last few meals. In fact at that time he could still sat up and ate by himself but due to his frail state and his difficulty in swallowing, I made it a point to feed him. He always coughed while swallowing as the food irritated his throat. At one ocassion, I knew he has no appetite to eat as he was running a fever. No one will be able to stomach anything in when he or she had a fever. But my papa insisted that he has to eat. He started to wheeze half way while eating. I couldn't bear to see him suffered so I told him not to force himself if he has no intention to eat.

" Nope, just scoop all the porridge and feed me, I am okay, I want to finish it" My dad firmly insisted.
"But you can't take it anymore, no point forcing yourself to finish."
" Since you have brought the food for me, I must finish it, I don't like to waste food. It is not good to waste food."
" But this is too much for you, I know you are forcing yourself to eat..."
My dad silently signal me to hand over the bowl to him and he began to scoop the porridge himself. Then he paused a moment, in a hoarse voice, said to me firmly,"you should be encouraging me to eat. If I don't eat, you know I won't live. You should be the one encouraging me to live". My heart weeped silently when I heard this.

From that single statement, I came to realize that many of us who are living or once lived have never treasured our life as much as my father did. Some people choose to end their life when life seem too much for them to take on. And they have conveniently forgotten their responsibilities towards their very own family, including their parents. They did it for selfish reason for the act of committing suicide is like robbing away the gift from their parents for their lives were originally given by their parents. There is simply no reason that one should take their live without their givors' permission.

My papa treasured every single moment he has to lived. But he lived not for a selfish reason. Prioritising the family's needs ahead of his own life, he has sacrificed just too much for us. When his responsibility as a father has completed, he longed to spend a sheer moment with my mom. Unfortunately his wish was not granted and i see God's purpose in it. Even though my papa has to bear with the bitterness of life during his prime, he continued with this "never gonna give-up life" attitude. Sadly, some people just take life lightly and have chosen to end their life in their prime...

On 9th of September this year, my papa passed away peacefully on a sunny morning at our own home. This was a day after the China Olympic opening ceremony and the Republic of Singapore's independence day. It also marked my papa's independence day. He has finally freed himself from this world of suffering. Though I no longer have the chance to express my love and admiration for him, he remains the Hero in my heart.

Papa! You are the greatest father in the world. Thanks for honoring me this lifetime to be your daughter. I am well sure that this is going to be my last lifetime with you as a father and daughter relationship. May you be in peace and remember to practice diligently in the Western Pure land!


(Oh yeah..I sensed the presence of you around me when i typed this...hehehe)

Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva (Ti Tsang P'usa)

Today is the last day of the 7th Lunar Month or popularly known amongst the Chinese society as the "Ghost Month". But many do not know that Ti Tsang P'usa's birthday also falls on the last day of this month. The Sanskrit name of Ti Tsang P'usa is Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva. Bodhisattva or famously known as "P'usa" in Mandarin is a name common to all Bodhisattvas. Among the countless Bodhisattvas in the universe, Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva and 3 others have firmly captured the hearts of the Mahayanists. These 4 main P'usas are depicted in the Chinese Buddhist Pantheon and they represent 4 basic great qualities:

Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva (Kuan Shih Yin) - as Great Compassion
Manjusri Bodhisattva (Wen Shu) - as Great Wisdom
Samantavhadra Bodhisattva (Pu Hsien) - as Great Love and Perfect Activity
Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva (Ti Tsang) - as Great Vow to help and deliver all living beings

A Bodhisattva must have 3 principle characteristics. Firstly, to have enough wisdom to understand the real facts of the universe. Secondly, to have enough wisdom to enlighten others and thirdly, to have enough wisdom to endeavor to attain perfect Buddhahood as well as to work perseveringly to relieve the world out of its sufferings. People who have persevering energy to purify themselves as well as to lead the world to Salvation through the Noble Teachings of Lord Buddha are entitled to be called Bodhisattvas.

Ti Tsang, meaning the "Earth-Store" is a direct translation of Ksitigarbha's name from Sanskrit. First the Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva is compared to earth. Earth is the only place where all living beings as well as plants are born or planted. Consequently, the earth is most useful to the world.

Ti Tsang P'usa, or the Great Vow Bodhisattva has Infinite Loving Kindness and determination. His famous vow which is weightiest is: "If I do not got to the hell to help the suffering souls there, who else will go?... If the hells are not empty of sinners, I vow not to become a Buddha."

As such, he has remained in this world through different transformation and in different lives, especially in the Hell striving to relieve all sinners out of sufferings and to lead them to real liberation. This Ksitigarbha Bodhisatva is reliable to all living beings as if the earth is reliable both to the living and non-living beings. This Bodhisatva has immeasurable principles for advising people to purify themselves, both mentally and physically , as well as showing them the way of attaining Buddhahood. Therefore, this Bodhisattva is very helpful to people as if he is a safe composing of various treasures. As this Bodhisattva always remains in the Hell to convert sinners to lead a righteous llife, he is called the Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva. In order to promote filial love towards parents, he made various strong vows in his past lives. The stories of his past lives and his various great vows was described in the Sutra of The Past Vows Of The Earth Store Bodhisattva. This is one of the most popular Buddhist Sutras, with the tales of the great filial piety which the Bodhisattva practised that led to his illimitable vows to save all living beings. This Sutra was spoken by Sakyamuni Buddha at the end of HIS life to the beings of the Trayastrimsa Heaven as a mark of gratitude and remembrance for his beloved mother.

In this Sutra, the Buddha revealed Ksitigarbha's previous past lives when he manifested to the people of this world the virtues of a filial life through various transformation in the distant past aeons when:-

1) Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva was the son of a rich man

During that time there was a Buddha with extraordinary magnificent features. The boy admired him very much and he asked the Buddha how he managed to obtain such a rare appearance. He was told that such features were the result of his endeavoring efforts in relieving the sufferings of others to lead happy lives by means of the Ethical Teachings. Upon hearing this, the son of the rich man made a strong vow that he would sacrifice himself to relieve all the sufferings of people and to fully enlighten them before he himself would attain Buddhahood.

2) When he was the daughter of a Brahman

At that time, there was a Buddha by the name of "Flower of Meditation and Enlightenment", whose mind is completely free from all delusion. During the same period, there was a girl who was the daughter of a Brahman. This lady possessed splendid graciousness that eventually she was admired and respected by everyone who came across her. Even deities were willing to be her guardians. But her evil-minded mother had a false belief in wrong conceptions. She always spoke of evil about others as well as to ridicule the Triple Jewels. Triple Jewels herewith refers to The Buddha, Dharma and Sangha which are shelter and guiding ideal of all Buddhist. Although the mother has been persuaded by her daughter to reform herself, she was very stubborn and stuck to her misconceptions. When she died, she was cast to the Hell of Relentless Suffering in which punishments continues without ceasing. Her daughter knew quite well that her mother, who did not believe in the theory of Cause and Effect, would certainly be one of the sub-humans in Hell as a result of all the sins that she had committed. In order to save her mother from the great torture of Hell, she did a lot of charitable benevolences including offering to the poor and needy. She prepared some offerings and pay respect to the above Buddha of her time. She made fervent prayers that her mother be spared of all pains of Hell and requested the Buddha for help. In order to show deep gratitude to the above Buddha, she made a strong vow that she would never become a Buddha until she could successfully reform the sinful minds of all sinners through the Ethical Teaching of the Exalted Buddha.

3) When he was a king of a small kingdom

Before the Buddha of Perfect Wisdom renounced the world, he was a king of a small country. He was a great friend of the king of his neighbourhood. Both of them practised the ten principles of righteousness. Unfortunately, the citizens of his neighbouring country always committed evil deeds. The first king made a strong vow that he would try his best to be enlightened as soon as he could so that he would be able to enlighten his citizens and lead them to Salvation. The second king made a vow that he would never become a Buddha unless he would successfully cultivate the moral progress of those sinful citizens till they could attain enlightenment This second king who vowed to bring all erring beings to Enlightenment or else he would not become a Buddha is Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva.

4) When he was a girl by the name of "Bright-Eyes"

During this life, there was an Arhat who tried to spread the Noble Teaching of Lord Buddha. There was a girl by the name of "Bright-eyes" who made offerings to the Arhat and was asked what her wish was. Bright-eyes replied, "I did some good work on the day of my mother's death in order to relieve her out of her sufferings. I longed to know in what state my mother is now present." She told the Arhat that when her mother was alive she had committed the sin of killing lives, especially to eat roasted fried eggs of fish or tortoise and therefore had killed countless lives for food. "Compassionate One, kindly let me know how to relieve my mother," she begged the Arhat. The Arhat, out of great compassion, meditated and came to know that her mother had been casted into the Hell. The girl was advised by the Arhat to pay full respect and chant the name of the the Buddha of that time-"Buddha of the Pure Lotus Eyes" and to have an image of the Buddha to be enshrined in her home.

The girl, in her great anxiety to relieve her mother, sold her precious belongings and with money she purchased an image of the Exalted Buddha. She worshiped it with full respect. One night, she saw the Buddha and was informed that her mother would be reborn as a son by one of her servants. On accounts of all the evils that her mother had committed, that new born son would live up to the age of only 13 and would be casted into the Hell once more for further punishment. Upon hearing this, the girl was in deep sorrow as it seemed like all that she has done for her mother were still insufficient to save her from the suffering of the Hell. Upon hearing this, the girl wept bitterly again and made a strong vow in front of the image of the Buddha of Pure Lotus Eyes - that if her mother be relieved forever out of all her sufferings of the Hell, she would endeavor to relieve all sufferings sinners from the Hell before she would become a Buddha herself.

After making such a firm declaration, the Buddha of the Pure Lotus Eyes then told the girl, "You are such a filial daughter to make such a strong vow for the benefit of your mother. May your mother be born as a Brahmacarin after she passed away from this life and hence to live for hundred years and she will finally achieved Buddhahood to save many livings beings.

The young maiden has since then became an accomplished Bodhisattva through her great acts of merits and is now known as the Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva/Ti Tsang P'usa.

Many people tend to relate Ti Tsang P'usa as the Mogallana who was disciple of Sakyamuni Buddha, because he too had a similar experience of descending to the Hell Realm to seek and save his mother. The stories may sound similar but they happened at different times and adopted quit different methods to save their mother. Mogallana was the one who urged people to make offerings to Buddha and Sangha on the fifteenth of the seventh lunar month to repay the kindness of their parents. This is the origin of the Ullambana Festival which was customary to all Chinese who has mistaken that as the "Ghost Festival". In fact, the seventh month is not a Ghost Month but a month of Filial Piety. Everyone are encouraged to make prayers and chanting to their present parents and parents of the past lives.